Never Give Up On God…

Welcome back. Divine love and blessings.

This blog pours straight from my heart because we are living in days when so many souls are carrying burdens too heavy to name. Faith feels impossible to hold for countless people right now. For those who have never tasted the deepest valleys, every storm feels like the end of the world. Anger rises. Blame follows. Yet for those who have walked through fire before and learned to turn their eyes toward the good Lord, the ups and downs of life become a roller coaster they ride with steady hope. They trust that what falls will rise again, and even if it does not, the light of God never leaves them.

As a spiritual teacher, I write these words from the quietest place in my soul…

Over the years I have felt, in small and aching ways, what the Lord must feel every single day. For a long time I was blessed to walk beside so many who sought spiritual light when it was still in fashion. I believed those connections were real and eternal. I carried each person close to my heart. Then, one by one, many simply vanished.

I watch how people stay loyal to makeup artists, gamers, and influencers even when they lose interest. They keep the follow, they like the occasional post, they never fully let go. But with me, they left. I never meant to wound anyone, if I did. I only hoped to help them become the brightest version of themselves. My words may have felt sharp because they touched the very places they were afraid to see. I saw their beauty so clearly and longed to lift away the struggles, the insecurities, the unnecessary pain that better choices could have spared them.

Still, nothing cuts deeper than being set aside. No word. No gentle goodbye. Just silence. Complete abandonment. Even now I reach out again and again, offering hope, promising brighter days, holding others in prayer while my own world trembles. I have shared my hardships only to show that hope is possible, that heaven’s lessons can turn even the darkest night. Yet the world has shown me little mercy. I placed my whole trust in the very people I was helping, and now I stand in one of the lowest places my life has ever known.

A few beautiful souls remain, still reaching out their hands. But so many others grew impatient. They could not see past my circumstances to the lessons I was living, in order to give them more wisdom. What wisdom was I giving in my life’s examples?

1.) Faith through adversity.

2.) Seeking God’s Advice To Give Their Best Shot.

3.) To Stand Strong In Faith Even If All Else Fails.

4.) To Keep Love When Darkness Attacks.

They forgot that the teaching was never about my pain alone. Even the great Yeshua (Jesus) said he carried his cross for us. That was metaphorical for the fact that he lived a rough and humble life among distrustful people, people who plotted against him, and at poverty level.

It was about love that stays when everything else falls away. Or even when you have nothing at all. And once more my thoughts turn to God.

How many hearts glow with prayer and devotion when life is sweet? Yet the moment trouble comes, they turn away. They stop watching, stop speaking, stop believing. They return to the very things that deepen the wound. I stand here, living the struggle openly, so that others might see they do not have to fall into despair. They can still seek the Lord’s gentle guidance, find peace within the storm, and rise again.

That is why prayer and open communication are so important. When you are hurting, please come to me as your guide and advisor. Tell me upfront that you are going through a hard time and that you feel like giving up so I can walk beside you and help you through it. Or pour everything out to the Lord Himself. Speak to Him of every fear, every tear, every doubt. Tell Him exactly what you are thinking and feeling in these moments. That is why I created the special prayer on YouTube. Far too many people become lost in their own pain and cannot see that others around them are suffering even more, that things could be far worse, or that someone they love is carrying a burden heavier than their own.

Even in my own trials, I still choose to keep love and light at the forefront of every lesson I share through my posts. I never want my hardships to become a source of darkness. I want them to become a lantern for anyone walking the same shadowed path.

Even for those who are doing really well right now and have moved on, in my heart I am truly happy for them. It saddens me deeply to watch my own life crumbling after I spent so many years pouring everything I had into wanting to see others rise and thrive. But that was the choice I made. I chose to give them something precious that the Lord had first given me: the wisdom of His boundless love. So even if I find myself in the worst of conditions, I am grateful beyond words that I was able to help so many find the light they were seeking, discover a better way to live, and embrace the joy that brought them back to their true selves.

I am sure somehow, some way, things will work out for me too. The only thing that truly pains me is that I had seen so much of what was coming long before it arrived. About a year ago the Lord gave me gentle glimpses of these days. I would ask those who had promised their support, “Are you still with me?” “Is there any reason beyond friendship and love that you are here?” They always answered with words that sounded loyal and true. I still do not understand why people cannot simply be open from the start. God sees everything, and He always tells me what I need to know. I felt the darkness approaching like a cold wind, and I did everything in my power to hold things together. With a large family it is so hard to keep even a little money from slipping away. I do not even care about money. In my heart I long for the old ways, the barter and simple exchange I remember from lifetimes past, when help was given and received in equal love. In those ancient days, those who walked the earth to teach were offered a place to rest, food for their children, and the kindness of open hearts. They simply taught, shared insights, and trusted. Today I cannot go from home to home asking for shelter for myself and my little ones. So I have always relied on the small sales of my services and the gentle support of friends just to keep going. Yet I still helped anyone who could not pay, often giving discounts or free sessions so they could feel encouraged and stay on the path. I have tried with all my heart to give every part of myself to everyone who came to me.

I just do not want anyone to be surprised when the day comes that I am no longer here.

I try so hard to keep that peace inside my own chest, but it is difficult when the friends who once called me family quietly slip away. People search for any small flaw to justify their leaving. They drop their support without a word. They move on, believing they are protecting themselves, yet they only walk deeper into the dark. And this, I realize with tears, is exactly what happens to our Heavenly Father every day.

He lifts people up. He opens doors. He whispers wisdom. Yet so often they lean on their own limited sight. They ignore parts of His counsel, then wonder why the path grows rocky. Or perhaps the weight of the world and its unseen forces simply becomes too much. In their pain they grow angry. They give up. They walk away from the very love that never once abandoned them.

God is not the gifts He gives. He is not the career boost or the sudden clarity. He is the unconditional love that remains when every gift is gone. He teaches us how to walk, but we must take the steps. He lights the way, yet we must choose to follow. To leave Him is to choose darkness.

Right now I cannot pay my bills. I have no way to repair what breaks. My website and my work may soon go silent. Food may run out. The roof over my head is no longer certain. Yet even here, in this trembling place, I choose love. I refuse to let bitterness take root. I know the Lord will place tools in my hands, but I must be the one to use them. This journey is about becoming a master builder. Storms will come. Foundations will shake. Yet if we build with truth, with love, with unwavering faith, the house we raise will stand.

And when it trembles, we do not blame God. We look again at our own design. We strengthen what is weak. We begin once more. Because every time we add negativity, every time we cut ties, every time we surrender to despair, we only fall farther. And the Lord weeps. His heart breaks to watch any of His children hurt. His sorrow is deepest when He sees them let go of the love that could have carried them through.

So hold on, beloved. Hold on to love. It is the only foundation that never fails. Even when the world walks away, God never does. And as long as love lives inside you, you still have everything you need to rise again.